Long time no talk. I hope everyone is doing well. I am doing ok at the moment, not great, but not awful either. I guess I'll just go subject by subject to fill you all in...
Career- The job is good. My bosses like me, and I'll be up for a promotion soon. I'm pretty sure that I am being relocated overseas for a year sometime next year which will be an awesome opportunity, but I am also a little nervous about it. I haven't received too much detail about it yet, so I'm just going to take it in the news as it comes. Although the job is going well, and I have this huge opportunity to move away for a while, I'm also getting really sick of the work, and kind of want to move on to something else. The problem is, I just don't know what I want to do next.
Love Life- My love life is good. I'm still with my girlfriend, and things are good between us. She is my best friend, and knows everything about me (except for one pretty big secret if you know what I mean). I know that I can have a happy "normal" life with her if we were to stay together and get married / have kids etc.
Having said that, I am not positive that the "normal" life is the route I want to take. I suppress my attraction to the male sex quite a bit just to fit in, and sometimes I just can't help but feel like I shouldn't have to hide this big of a secret from everyone every single day of my life. It takes a pretty large emotional toll. I don't feel this way 24/7, but I feel this way more than enough.
I've been thinking a lot about breaking up with my girlfriend and try my hand at coming out again. It is just such a hard decision because how do I know life will automatically better? How do I know it won't be worse once people actually know about me? Its also not something that I can take back either. Once I break it off with my gf, and she tells her family why - There is no turning back.
I would really appreciate some advice here from guys who have been in my shoes. I want to hear from both guys who have decided to suppress their feelings for men, married a girl and started a family, AND ALSO guys who were in serious relationships with females, but decided to break it off with their girlfriends, and come out of the closet. What are the pros and cons of both situations? Any knowledge / advice that you could pass on would be greatly appreciated.
Other- everything else is going pretty good. Friends are good, family is good, and its the holiday season again so I can't complain about much else.
Movies- I did want highlight a few movies that I've seen recently - all three are ok, I still don't think any compare to shelter, but if you're bored and want to check them out, here they are.
Just a Question of Love
The War Boys