Whats up Guys?
I hope everyone had a great weekend. Mine is still going because our office got the day off for President’s day. I’m not doing much for it though, just woke up a little bit ago, made some scrambled eggs with some Frank’s Hot Sauce, which was awesome. I’ve built quite an addition to hot sauce lately, I put it on pretty much everything. Anyways, I’ll just be chillin, recovering from the weekend. I’m going to head to the gym in a little bit to get a good pump in.
Anyways, I’ve been thinking more about living life as a gay man, and I think I kind of figured out what scares me the most about it. I wouldn’t be worried about too much in the short term. I’m a young guy, I stay in good shape, and I don’t think I’d have a problem getting laid if I wanted to. Also, my parents already now, so while they would be a little upset about it, I think they will eventually get over it. I don’t know if all of my friends will stay as close to me, but I feel that the majority at least would. Even if they didn’t I’ve made quite a few friends through this blog, and other means along my journey who I know would be there for me. I think that the scariest part for me is the uncertainty of finding a partner that I want to spend the rest of my life with. A man that I can wake up next to everyday and be there for him, and he be there for me. A man I can trust, a man I can be myself around, and a man that is completely open with me. I want to be able to revel in each other’s successes and mourn in each other’s failures. A man that can and will raise children with me, that will help me coach our kid’s teams, videotape recitals, help with book reports and homework, someone that both myself and our children can depend on.
Let me be clear here, I have no desire to settle down anytime soon, but I know I will want to eventually, and I think that these are legitimate concerns to have, especially if I’m thinking about leaving the sure thing that I have right now to fulfill my own desires. Yes, I want to be able to be myself, but at what price? Will I have to give up having a family of my own because I can’t find anyone who wants the same things I do? I think part of my concern comes from gay people I actually know. For instance, my Dad’s brother is gay, and although he is a great uncle, there has always been something kind of off about him. Sometimes at family holidays, he will just stay in an upstairs bedroom the entire time, and not come downstairs and socialize with anyone except maybe for dinner, and then go back upstairs. I don’t want to sound like a dick, but he just seems so lonely. He is in his forties, and doesn’t have anyone to share his life with. I don’t know what his sex or social life is like, so I could be wrong, but I’m just speculating. I guess what I’m trying to say here is, I don’t want to end up being a single man at age 40 with no one to share my life with. I feel like ending up alone is a lot more common in the homosexual world than it is in the heterosexual world. I know the divorce rate is insane in the heterosexual world, but even so, lets say your marriage doesn’t work out, you’ve still shared at least some happiness with another person, and probably started a family.
I know divorce can be tough on families, but at least there is a family in the first place. I know that sounds a little messed up, and trust me, I’m not a huge proponent of divorce. Every marriage has its issues, and if there are kids involved, you should do whatever it takes to make the marriage work for their sake. I truly believe that once there are kids involved, everything changes. Your own happiness should never come first once you’ve committed to brining a child into this world. Your own happiness won’t come first again until your child is grown and a productive member of society.
Wow, so I went on a little bit of a rant, and got off topic a bit, I apologize. Alright well I started this post when I woke up at 7:00 AM (hence my scrambled eggs at the beginning), but am just finishing it up at about 1:00 PM because I got a bit distracted in the middle ha. Alright bros, I think that is about all I’ve got for today. Today’s picture theme is athlete bros.